I just had my family come visit, and I have to say it was one of the best visits ever. It wasn’t good, just in the fact that we did fun things, like the fair and playing cards, but it “felt” good. We all really enjoyed each other’s company. I didn’t feel tension or stress being around them for an extended period of time. It was so nice to be able to relax, love on these people that raised me, and just accept them and myself for who we all are.
It wasn’t always like that, I used to get so tense the closer a visit came. I never felt like I fit in, that I was lacking in some way, that something must be wrong with me. I always loved them, that was never a question. It was a question to me whether “they” loved me back. I can see now, after working with The Healing Codes, so much of that was my perception.
Perception has probably been the biggest impact in our lives, and yet we don’t seem to give it the respect we should. Small things happen in our childhood, that we see at that time as catastrophic, and amplify it even more because of our young age. As adults we say, “That was really ridiculous, and wasn’t all that bad.” The reality is yes, it wasn’t “that bad,” as we see it now. The other side to that is yes it was, to you back then, and that memory can still have an incredible impact on you today.
I was trying to explain this to my Aunt this last weekend. Even if we have consciously come to accept that those memories weren’t that traumatic, there is a younger part of you still holding these events in. These memories replay themselves, and anything that comes up today, that resonates with them, can make you agitated, anxious or stressed in some way. You may not even know why you are feeling this way, but the discomfort you feel is enough to ruin a perfectly good day.
What I am trying to get across, is that as adults we can work on ourselves, and change how we feel about everything that happened, even if it was traumatic. We can choose to feel at peace with the person those experiences have made, the person we are today.
I can say that today I feel so much better about my family. I feel so comfortable, not only with them, but with myself while we are together. We play games, we joke, we laugh and we talk about the good old times. I can even tease my grumpy old Dad, and sometimes I will catch a very small glimpse of a smile.
I’ve worked through a lot of old, “stuff”, and it did take some time. The reward is this relationship with these people that are not always going to be around. I get to enjoy them today, instead of holding onto many perceptions, which should have changed long ago. Perceptions, which unchanged, could have left me looking back with regret and deep sadness after they are gone.
I am so grateful for this gift, The Healing Codes, which has enabled me to change myself and how I feel about my life and the people in it. Really that is what life is about, right? To be able to grow into the experiences we want, not hold onto the bad experiences from the past.
Melissa Zoske is a Certified Healing Codes Coach- Practitioner. To read more articles or if you need help on your healing journey please visit her website at http://customhealingcodes.com