Secret #6: What You Do Is What You Believe
Dr. Loyd shares the story of meeting and falling in love with his wife. They had many, many things in common and shared their beliefs about themselves, love, and marriage. “On the day that Tracey and I got married,” he says, “I can honestly say that I thought we were about as ready as anyone could ever be. We had been through pre-marital counseling, taken personality assessments and compared them, written down what we wanted in life and what we didn’t want, and how we would handle certain situations. Boy, were we ready!”
“So we got married, and less than a year later, both of us wanted a divorce. What in the world happened? I now know that when Tracey and I said ‘I believe,’ we were talking only about what we consciously believed.” But the problem, as it is with so many of us, is that 90 percent of our beliefs are unconscious. “After we got married, circumstances happened for both of us that reactivated pain memories which bypassed the conscious beliefs that Tracey and I had agreed on. I would blame Tracey and she would blame me. We would get upset, we would pout, we would do all kinds of things thinking that it was the circumstance happening right then that was the issue.”
My wife, Carlin, and I have had similar experiences and I know many other couples have as well. It’s our beliefs that can either help us heal or create problems in our relationships and in our lives. 12 Step recovery programs such as A.A call these unhelpful beliefs “stinkin’ thinkin’.” But those are just the conscious thoughts. It’s usually the unconscious ones that do us in.
New research shows that the trigger for illness and disease in the body as well in our relationships is always a wrong belief and, conversely, that once we believe the truth and keep believing the truth, our cells become impervious to illness and disease. What you believe will kill you or heal you. But the only way to heal our problems permanently and completely is to heal those cellular memories that are causing the problems that are being protected by the unconscious mind.
Jed Diamond, Ph.D. has been a health-care professional for the last 45 years. He is the author of 9 books, including Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, Male Menopause, The Irritable Male Syndrome, and Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome . He offers counseling to men, women, and couples in his office in California or by phone with people throughout the U.S. and around the world. To receive a Free E-book on Men’s Health and a free subscription to Jed’s e-newsletter go to http://facebook.com/menalivenow. If you enjoy my articles, please subscribe. I write to everyone who joins my team.
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